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Family Guy Quotes

Get some of the funniest Family Guy Quotes in this section of our site! Featuring funny quotes from thw cast of Family Guy, including Peter and Stewie Griffin! Stay tuned as we'll add more Family Guy Quotes soon. Don't forget that you can even send us your favorite Family Guy Quotes over here.

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Family Guy Stewie Quotes

Quotes from the Family Guy by the very popular Stewie!

  • Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.
  • It's not that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore.
  • Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.
  • Did you forge my name? How dare you! Is this backwards "S" supposed to be cute? I'm going to crap double for you tonight!
  • We met on the Internet. He lured me into the car with promises of candy and funny stories.
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